As you may know, we are pregnant again and have been doing everything we can to hold onto this pregnancy. As I said in our announcement post I am so nervous something is going to go wrong and we will lose this baby. My heart couldn’t take another miscarriage.
While I was in Essex visiting our family and getting help with Baby bear I had to go over A&E. Our world stopped, I started bleeding, had shoulder tip pain, and cramping. My mind went straight to I was miscarrying, I was heartbroken and numb. I couldn’t believe it was happening to us again and Daddy bear wasn’t with me. Even though Daddy bear wasn’t with me I had my mum and she was amazing.
After a long night in A&E, blood tests and internal examinations, they sent me home to wait for a phone call with my BHCG results and scan appointment. It was the longest wait for that phone call but it finally came. Even though during my internal check she found my cervix long and closed so it the bleeding wasn’t coming from my uterus so she didn’t think it was miscarriage bleeding. They were concerned about an Ectopic pregnancy due to my pain and where it was located which is why they wanted to scan me. However, when they rung my BHCG had dropped from 53 to 48 so they didn’t want to scan me as my BHCG was to low to see anything on the scan. I was told it looked like the beginning of the pregnancy failing and I was to see the miscarriage through at home but if I had any complications I needed to go back to get checked over.
We were heartbroken. How could this be happening to us again, I had been injecting myself every day, taking all my medication, following every tip, trick and wives tale I’ve ever heard to try and make sure this pregnancy was viable. I couldn’t get my head around how this could be happening. My amazing mum got me all the supplies I know I would need in the next few days. Only to find my bleeding stopping less than 24 hours later, so back to A&E, we went as I had never had that before in my other miscarriages.
They decided to admit me for observations at least till they were able to redraw me BHCG the next morning. They did another internal exam, my cervix was still closed and long so I wasn’t miscarrying. That was good news but it didn’t answer why my bleeding had stopped but my pain was still really bad. When they redrew my BHCG it had dropped again to 38 so they decided to give me an emergency scan where they were unable to see or find my pregnancy anywhere. So I went home with pain killers.
2 days later I went back to retest my BHCG to see what it was doing. The results have no only confused us but also the doctors at the hospital. So my BHCG was at 38 and my progesterone was at 2.1 but when it was retested my BHCG went up to 63 and my progesterone went up to 4.3.
…Confused… yeah so was we. Myself and Daddy bear had processed the fact we were losing this pregnancy and to now be told that the pregnancy is growing and my numbers were doing what they needed to be doing. My bleeding hadn’t started again so it was looking good.
Now we are home, I have a blood test and scan booked this week to check on the baby. So fingers crossed that goes well and we have a healthy pregnancy growing. If I’m being honest I can’t imagine my appointment going well but not because I don’t think this pregnancy is doing what its meant to I do. I’m just so used to having bad news I kind of just expect it now. But we are keeping our fingers crossed that we get the good news we are so wishing for.