It’s not very often Daddy bear has to leave us to travel with work but for the last 2 weeks, I’ve been solo parenting while he has been working out of the country. If you follow my Instagram or Facebook page you would have already seen how well solo parenting has gone for me. But if you haven’t seen my posts I’ll give you a hint of how it went…
Needless to say Baby bear has broken me quite a few times while Daddy bear has been away. He traveled out of the country in October of last year just after my surgery but I went and stayed with my parents in Essex so I had help with Baby bear. However, this time because I’m now working, learning to drive and Baby bear is at nursery getting ready to go to big school in September I decided to stay at home on my own. I’m a big baby when it comes to staying at home on my own, I’m fine during the day but when it comes to around dinner time I hate it. I really don’t like being on my own especially once Baby bear is in bed which has been even earlier than normal since Daddy bear left which has sucked. It’s not because of scared of anything bad happening I’m just so used to always having someone around. I come from a big family so there has always been at least 1 person around.
I’ve also struggled with dinner times, I’m used to Daddy bear being home that when he isn’t here I just lose all motivation to cook. It doesn’t help I’m not interested in eating food at all and Baby bear goes off all food when Daddy bear isn’t here (whether that’s just late home from work or traveling for a period of time) so I just don’t find enjoyment in cooking for us when I know Baby bear probably won’t eat it and I won’t enjoy it. So these 2 weeks have consisted of a lot of easy to cook meals or leftover meals from the freezer I saved up knowing I probably wouldn’t want to cook.
The first week started really well I felt like I had everything under control. Baby bear was a handful and testing from day 1 but Daddy bear leaving has been a really big, confusing change for him this time. The boys bond has grown so much over the last few months as Daddy bear has been spending more 1-on-1 time with Baby bear. Which Baby bear really struggled with the lack of while Daddy bear has been gone, he didn’t understand why I was taking him to nursery on Monday when Daddy bear usually does that, and not going Zumba on a Wednesday and work Saturday like I normally do. His behavior just got worse and harder to deal with but I think tiredness on both our parts played a huge part in it all. I honestly didn’t think solo parenting was going to be as hard as it was.
I can’t be the other person who struggles to sleep when their partner isn’t with them? I expected the first few nights to be hard but I didn’t expect to still be really struggling to fall asleep even though I’m exhausted, then actually staying asleep has been impossible. Its been a joke honestly, I’ve been going to bed as soon as I’ve put baby bear to bed unless I’ve taken a bath because I’m so tired but I just can’t get to sleep. Daddy bear has said his been struggling to sleep to. We are cuddlers, I can’t fall asleep without him cuddling me and we have cuddles throughout the night so not having that has been hard and kept me awake. I have also experienced so many bad dreams its unreal, I normally very rarely have a bad dream when Daddy bear is here but I’ve had atleast 7 in past 2 weeks.
Needless to say, I’m so glad Daddy bear is finally home and we can get back into our normal routine and swing of things. I take my hat off to all the single parents or parents who have to solo parent on a regular basis because it’s hard. I defiantly wouldn’t want to it to solo parent on a regular basis, I honestly couldn’t cope. I didn’t actually realize how much I needed Daddy bear here to help me and just be my backup and sleeping aid.